Art Perseverance
Records, books
All I can do is sit and look
The night has passed by
And now I just sit here and sigh
All good things come to an end, right?
I guess I’ve never had a good thing,
Even if I tried with all my might
I just want to live life
But I can’t seem to avoid all this strife
Trouble, anger, tribulation
I just need to develop more patience
You see,
Things will start to look up
And when they do, I’ll take a nice, big swig from my cup
That cup of success
That cup that erases all my stress
But now,
I’m just sitting, staring at these records and books
All I can really do is just sit and look
Vignette
I am currently in the process of unpacking and totally transforming my room. In doing so, I’ve found of ton of knick knacks and items that have sent me back to my high school years and even my childhood. Among these nostalgic treasures was a vignette I wrote the summer after my 9th grade year. Well, here it is:
And I still didn’t feel anything once I saw my 11-year old face staring into my eyes from the mirror.
The green devil had done it,
With its rusted, golden legs
And hideous wound, which spewed its mustard-colored filling.
This monster’s wound distracted me, causing my legs to become entangled with its corroding support.
My left eyebrow collided with the corner of its ally,
Donned in dust
And in the potent aroma of its owner’s most expensive perfume.
I was not at all lightheaded,
And I did not have any type of frailty.
Yet, as I looked into the mirror of the dark bathroom,
I saw where the enemy had made its mark.
A deep cut was created, separating the hair of my left eyebrow,
Parting it in one-fourth.
I paid attention to every detail.
My mind constantly returned to the thought of death.
No blood trickled from my forehead.
However, as I applied the white towels to hide my own hideous wound,
What once was white became damp and red.
I applied towel, after towel, after towel, after towel,
As I waited in a freezing chamber,
Waiting for my wound to seal.
As I looked up, I discovered sharp blue eyes staring into mine.
Those eyes were that of a child.
She looked young and rather innocent,
But something about her eyes
Reminded me of the enemies that doomed me;
So I looked away as quickly as I could,
In hopes that her eyes wouldn’t harm me.
Everything occurred too quickly for my mind to digest.
I felt a ver cold gel entering the fragment of my forehead,
Where I was attacked.
I then felt something moving from
Left to
Right to
Left to
Right.
I was all stitched up and ready to return to face my enemies
To show them that they didn’t truly harm me.
Yet now, every time that I see the scar
That faintly lies under the small amounts of hair,
On my eyebrow,
I think of the beast that caused this scar
And wonder if its wound was ever healed
These emotions keep me slipping
It’s about time that I give up
I hope that I don’t freeze up
From these emotions that are caging me
Why is that you can’t see
That my mind is racing all the time
And everyone thinks that I’m just fine
But these emotions are just eating me inside
I just want to take them for a ride
And abandon them in an open desert
But they’re so heavy to carry
They’re nothing like a feather
I need to rid myself of these things
But what goodness would that bring?
Less time of feeling rejected
More time allowing my joy to be erected
I need to quit crying on the inside
Stop running away and trying to hide
Forrest Gump said, “Life is like a box of chocolates.”
I take one look at my fears and insecurities and say, “Man, I got this.”
Just yesterday, I discovered something I believed was in me, but never could muster up the courage to express. This has happened more than once in my life, with singing, dancing, and having the ability to play musical instruments. My modest being has caused me to suppress the talents that have been established within me.
What is it that I discovered?
You guys, I discovered that I am good with rhyming, even though I have yet to excel with timing.
See, that right there, I literally just let those words flow from my brain and to my fingertips. I didn’t stop and look up words to rhyme with “rhyming,” neither did I sit and ponder on how to throw in a rhyme real quick. That move right there just isn’t doing it.
Since I’ve expressed my newly found talent, I feel as though I have begun to open other parts of my being – I do not at all mean the physical elements. I’m tired of being shy. I’m tired of shaking uncontrollably when speaking in public. I’m tired of this being this girl who has aspirations and dreams of being an incredibly inspiring activist, yet cannot easily execute the tasks required to be a successful advocate.
So friends, I close with this. Discovering this new talent has been simply bliss. So now I must go. That’s the end of this bloggin’ show. I hope you enjoyed this rhyming feast. I’ll be back soon, so please don’t weep.
The Dagger
The dagger,
So shiny, so sharp
But that is only from afar
When my eyes are but inches from the tool,
The brownish orange rust is apparent
Cracks are as visible as chapped lips on the coldest day of winter
Why have I held this weapon for so long?
A weapon that can no longer inflict pain
Or maybe the afflictions caused by the blade can only be experienced by its owner
Me
The one who believed a rustic item would equal safety
Security
Commitment
A sharp dagger has suddenly slipped from my fingers
It slipped and perforated a part of my body
A sharp dagger
A love that was perceived to be existent
Light strokes from a soft hand onto a bare back
Kisses given when alone
A sharp dagger has suddenly slipped from my fingers,
And now…
I am hurt
Vegan Struggles
A few weeks ago, I declared on Facebook that I would start a new adventure in my life, veganism. I’ve always told myself that I would become a vegan, understanding the harsh treatments—these treatments are far more than harsh. So, I tried it, but…
IT’S SO HARD!
I can now kind of understand the argument non-vegetarians present when they say, “I understand that animals are treated unfairly, but it’s just so hard to give up meat.” For me however, it’s not necessarily having to give up eggs, milk, or cheese—I can find substitues for those—it’s eliminating certain foods from my diet that contain those animal products. Many of my meat substitutes contain either mile or eggs, and that to me is tough.
It is also really hard trying to live this lifestyle on a college student budget. I’m not going to blame living on campus, because I am still in the city. I just don’t have the money to spare to buy the foods that are both completely animal free and also nutritious and a stomach filler.
It’s just so difficult.
With that said, I am now reclaiming my vegan title, and I will simply start over my count every time I consume something an animal made.
Everyone said this would be hard. I just didn’t believe them.
I also realized that I haven’t done a Music Monday this past Monday. I’ll give you two musical recommendations next week!
New life
Yesterday, I spent time getting to know my baby cousin, Timothy Eugene Wright III.
Would you guys like to see what he looks like? Well, of course you would!
It was a really good time. Little Timothy was very quiet and rested as my mom, sister, grandma, and aunt’s cousins held him. I opted to take part in that action because:
(1) I have a fear of dropping babies;
and
(2) I’ve had the same weird cough/mucus buildup for four weeks now.
Then, my uncle brought out the most hilarious thing ever!
For those of you who know my uncle, you know that he’s always dressed in Nike gear. Nike shirt, Nike pants, Nike socks, and Nike sneakers. The only time I guess he’s not in Nike is when he’s wearing his Honor Guard uniform, but any other time, Nike it is.
So, this guy brings out a ton of Nike outfits for his son! A ton! We all thought it was hilarious. Take a look.
So that is all I wanted to share with you guys. I hope you all had a nice weekend as well!
Trying to fit in, without understanding the politics
I swear, this post will be short and sweet. I just need to rant for a little bit.
I’m sure most of you have seen either on your Facebook news feeds or Twitter timelines, posts/tweets pertaining to KONY 2012. If not, I’ll let you in on it, briefly. Invisible Children Inc. created a video about the leader of the Lord’s Resistance Army (LRA) and wants its viewers to help stop him. Kony isn’t a good man. His army is comprised of many children, and he’s raped and killed many. Good? Of course not.
So what do I have to rant about?
What is upsetting to me is that early on in high school, I was very much aware of Kony and the LRA. I knew what he was doing and what he stood for, mainly because I drenched myself in international politics, and also, Invisible Children Inc. came to my high school once to talk about their organization and the militant actions in Uganda.
Okay?
Well, everyone is sharing and reposting Invisible Children Inc.’s video and talking about how it’s our duty to stop Kony, but I don’t think that they are fully aware of what that means. I don’t think that they know that Invisible Children support military intervention, which may stop Kony, but we don’t know what that’ll do to Uganda in terms of politics and economics.
Yes, I’m glad that people are now aware of Kony and the LRA, but I do not like the fact that many of these people have not done outside research on the issues, other than watching the KONY 2012 video, before posting bandwagon-esque statuses.
People need to stay informed. Yes! But they also need to learn how to understand certain issues by looking at more than one source.
That is all.
Music Monday: My Dad (Updated)
I updated this blog, after I had to write a music review for a class assignment.
Chicago born, noisy/poppy/math band, My Dad has gone above and beyond to prove its musical prowess. Philly native, Dave Collis self-released My Dad’s 10-track album, Stunts, performing everything on his own, from vocals to the thumb tapping, head nodding melodic components. Stunts is comprised of ambient sounds, unorthodox drumming patterns, and idiosyncratic lyrics that come from Collis’s slightly abrasive vocals. If math band, Tera Melos, and tropical punk band, Abe Vigoda were to make euphonious copulation, My Dad would undoubtedly be their offspring.
My Dad’s frontman compiled the workings of his prowess together, creating an atmosphere, which will send you off to another world. The lyrics complemented by Collis’s sometimes harsh, yet soothing vocals draws you in and out of consciousness. Ali: Fear Eats the Soul sets the scene. The track’s repetition of the idea of everyone and everthing being the same and free, paints the picture of suburbia, where the houses all stand the same and children are able to run and play outside freely.
The hypnosis stage is over, once the guitar riff of track Stunts beings. The opening melody of Stunts is like an alarm, reminding you that you are no longer in suburbia. My Dad makes this feeling of disillusionment more effective, by yelling, “Fuck!” before the first verse is introduced.
My Dad is a mature version, of Collis’s earlier project, Koyaanisqatsi. If the two bands were to be personified, My Dad would be the father figure of Koyaanisqatsi. The return of Ali: Fear Eats the Soul on Stunts is more intact and includes more ambient elements, versus the acoustic, low-budget audio recorded version of the track on Koyaanisqatsi’s album, Koyaanisqatsi Eats Your Children.
Collis has also provided his musical genius to help formulate Philly experimental pop group, Tongue Sculptor’s album, From the Living Room. Collis performed the drums and electric guitar for the album.
Stunts delves deeper into Collis’s past, with track Blasferatu is Fuckin’ Dead. Blasferatu was a side project Collis worked on during the remainder of his senior year of high school in Philadelphia and the beginning of his freshman year of college in Chicago.
The track Thai Food transforms the scene from the realization of being away from suburbia, to the realization of being a new man, letting go and moving on.
Blasferatu is Fuckin’ Dead, begins faced past and yields a sense of hopefulness and later transcends to a mellow mix of guitars and drumming patterns, all while containing the ambient mode the entire album is comprised of. There are peaks of loud guitars and mini-drum solos that correlate to the willingness of Blasferatu to stay alive. The entire pace of the track begins to speed up and comes to a close, with a few guitar riffs still going, until all is silent.
The remainder of the album contains the typical ambient sound of a poppy band. Track “83 and Loving It” is probably the most impressive track on Stunts. The many sequences from staccato guitar melodies, to the quintessential ambient components truly illustrate Collis’s musical erudition.
Stunts is an all-around striking album. It is in no way your ordinary poppy sounding album. My Dad’s use of the ambient and piercing elements, both in terms of the guitars and drums played and the sharp to lullaby-esque vocals, are so intricate and appreciative. Anyone who loves music and can appreciate good talent, will truly admire the work and dedication Collis put into creating My Dad.
Visit My Dad’s BandCamp, where you can purchase a copy of “Stunts” for your euphonious, melodic pleasures: http://mydad.bandcamp.com/album/stunts
My Dad’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/koyaanisqatsiensemble
Getting back in the groove…hopefully
I cannot begin to describe the numerous times I have apologized or rattled off excuses, as to why I haven’t been blogging as much. Honestly, at this point, I believe it is because I haven’t felt driven or motivated. This lack of motivation scares me, because I am a journalism major. I believe that I should also feel lead and compelled to write, but I just haven’t been feeling it.
I’m going to try to start this thing back up again, because when I look back at my older posts on here, as well as the stuff I’ve put up on Tumblr, I miss it. I see how fun writing used to be for me, how much of a release it was.
Let’s just see how this goes. If it doesn’t go well, I should probably consider switching my major.
